January 27, 2010 First Tub Bath

Today Miss Martha showed my mom and dad how to give me a tub bath and it was great!  Everyone thought that I was going to scream but i loved it and did not cry even once.  Mommy and daddy like it because it is so much easier and faster.  Then after all my parts are clean they wrapped me up in warm blankets and that was wonderful too!  Boy oh boy I cannot wait until my next one!

January 26, 2011- 1 Month!!!!

Momma is taking over this post....

  My life was forever changed on December 26th.  Was I ready...NO!  But now I can not imagine my life any differently.  I am so in love with you Ellouise and I would never change it or take it back.  You are so special and I am so excited to watch you grow and become the Godly woman I know you will be.  Here is something that I found that has made mommy feel so much better.  I hope you know God loves you and you were made the way you are for a reason.  Keep fighting my perfect angel I know you can do it!

How Preemie Moms Are Chosen
--by Erma Bombeck
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?  Somehow, I visualize God hovering Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.  "Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." 
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."  The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."  "Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."  "But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.  "I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.  Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.  I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.  You see, the child I am going to give her has a world of it's own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."  God smiles. "This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness.  "The angel gasps,  "Selfishness! Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.  She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says "momma" for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.  I will permit her to see clearly the things that I see - ignorance, cruelty, prejudice - and allow her to rise above them.  She will never be alone.  I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."  "But what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles."A mirror will suffice."

January 24, 2010 Day 29

Well it is offical I have BPD.  It is a lung condition that lots of preemies get.  It is scary for mommy and daddy but for me no big deal.  I am determined to home with out this oxygen and be breathing on my own.  I just need a little extra help right now is all.  So for now I get a little bit of back time until I get too tired and then they flip me over on my belly and I am fine right away!

Every day mommy comes in the first thing she does is put her hand over me and pray (after she does her three minute scrub of course).  She tires to be as specific in her prayers as she can be but sometimes there is so much to pray for she dosen't know where to start.  Mommy is so thankful to God that I have made it this far and so am I!  I could have never done it without his help! 

 Also everyday we have singing time.  I am now in the habit of waking up when it is time to eat and so at my 3:30 feeding we sing songs like, "You are my Sunshine" , This little light of mine", "Jesus loves the little children" " I am a Promise" and "Jesus loves me"  That one is my favorite, I always move and dance when mommy sings that one to me.  I love singing time even the nurses have commented on how much I focus and pay attention during that time.  Mommy says it is because she sang to me all the time when I was in her belly!

Finally tonight Nurse Jessica decided that since I have so much hair and am so pretty that I needed a hair bow.  I feel so pretty with my purple bow!  Thank you Nurse Jessica!

January 23, 2011 Day Twenty Eight

Today was a busy day Nana and papa came to see me again and helped with my bath.  Then daddy and I got some alone Kangaroo time.  I loved it and he did too.  We both snored for about an hour and a half and got very rested.  Then Grandpa and Grandma Ryan came and visited.  Boy oh boy I am sure popular.  Mommy tells me that there are even more people at home that want to see me.  I cannot wait to meet everyone!

January 21 & 22, 2011 Day Twenty Six and Twenty Seven

These two days were pretty uneventful.  On the 21st Nana and Papa came and helped me with my bath.  Also we found out that I have to get an head ultra sound to check for bleeds.  But then on the 22nd we found out there was nothing wrong.. NO BLEEDS!  Yeah I am so smart!  Mommy says I am such a big girl and she is so proud of me.  We celebrated by spending lots of time on my back and mommy singing to me.  I stared at her the whole time. Even the nurses where amazed at how long I lasted!  Mommy sings to be everyday.. I hope she always does!

January 20, 2011 Day Twenty Five

Today they took a chest x-ray of my lungs.  I do not like laying on my back to much because it gets hard for me to breath, so they wanted to see if anything serious is going on.  Well the Doctor told mommy and daddy that i have a little fluid on my lungs but nothing too serious.  I say i am just too little and they need to give me some time.  I mean come on look how much i have been fighting so hard for so long, give me a break, I will do it when I am good and ready.  Also I am pooping so well now that I have pooped at least 6 or  time the past two days.  Hey I gotta make up for lost time.. I didn't poop for such a long time I gotta get caught up:) hehe!

I have a friend named Julianna next to me.  She is bigger them me but I bet i will catch up.  Her mommy was sick with the same thing that my mommy was and she was born at 32 weeks.  I hope we can stay good friends as we grow up because our mommies and daddies get along very well and I would like a friend that can understand what I am going through.  Please pray for her too because she is trying to learn how to breast feed and having some issues.  I think that it looks really confusing so I cannot blame her!  I will just route her on for now and i know she will do the same for me when it is my turn.

January 19, 2011 Day Twenty Four

Today was very slow nothing much changed.  I was asleep most of the day but when daddy got here to visit I thought it was a good time to open my eyes.   Mommy got really excited and took lots of good pictures,  here are a few of her favorite.

January 17 & 18, 2011 Day Twenty Two and Twenty Three

The 17th was a busy day for me!  It was bath day and momma surprised Nana and waited until she was there to give it to me.  Nana held my head while momma washed my hair and she did a great job.  She was really nervous but she did everything just how she was supposed to.  And then even better Nana got to hold me while Miss Martha changed my bedding.  She was so excited and she actually said I was heaver then she thought I would be .. she is so silly!  It was nice to spend some time with her and I hope she gets to hold me again!  I am still pooping really well actually that night I pooped 3 times during the night.  My poop is a little green which is not a good sign but is getting lighter and lighter green evey time I go.  I hope it gets to normal soon.  Also I no longer need and IV because I have been doing so good on my feedings I no longer need the extra fats and electrolytes.

Today is the 18th and all I did today was sleep.  Yesterday wore me out, so there is not much to report.  They are going to give me a little extra supplements in my milk I get everyday.  This will help me with my calcium, and other mineral that preemies miss out getting because they are born early. 

Also, daddy changed my diaper finally and it was even poopie.  Momma was there to help out and hold my legs but daddy did most of the work.. he even got some poop on his finger.. it was really funny!  Way to go dad!

January 16, 2011 Day Twenty One

Today I was breathing much better that transfusion helped a lot!  Mommy and daddy were changing my diaper and I pooped while they were changing me.  Daddy about threw up, it is still tar like and sticky.  Daddy picked up the diaper and said, "eww it is hot!"  and then later on while Grandma and Grandpa Ryan where visiting daddy decided to try and change my diaper for the first time.  Well little did he know that I had a special surprise.. hehehe... well when he saw it he changed his mind and mamma ended up changing me and again while they where changing me I pooped again. Grandpa Ryan grossed out and had to leave the room (of course from what I hear he NEVER changed a diaper!)  Mama says she is going to make sure that daddy knows how!

Then after all that and my belly felt so much better I got cuddle time with momma.  I would have liked to cuddle with daddy too but he is still sick and does not want to get me sick.

Finally the best part of my day was learning that they are going to increase me to full feedings at 2 AM.  Once they do that that means that I can get off my fat and electrolytes that I have been on.  They don't like to keep us on that too long because it can hurt my liver!  I really hope I do well and I know mommy and daddy do too!

January 15, 2011 Day Twenty

Today was a boring day.  I had to get a transfusion again because my hemoglobin was low,  that is what was causing my issues with the oxygen in my blood, no red blood cells means no oxygen... duh!!!

Also today my daddy read to me for the first time.  He choose one of his favorites from when he was little, called "The Poky Little Puppy".  I liked it even though it looked like I was sleeping, I really liked it.  I hope he reads to me again!

I also gained weight again, I am now 2lbs and 11 oz!  I have almost gained 1 pound in 21 days!  Momma said enjoy it now because this is the only time we will be celebrating gaining weight! 

 

Other then that I did nothing new.  Sorry this post is so boring but I would rather it be boring so that I can rest and just grow!

January 14, 2011 Day Ninteen

I don't know if you know but mama walks over to see me every morning.  It is not a long walk but to her it feels like I am miles away.  But while she is walking she prayes everyday for me to be healthier then the day before.  Also every day as she walks she sees all sorts of people, young, old healthy sick and so forth.  Well today she was noticing just how many different people God has made and wondering their stories, are they there because they are sick or visiting some one special like she is?  Can they tell what she is there for?  Do they wonder what her story is?  But then she realized that it does not really matter  if they know her story, God knows her story and my story and that should be all the comfort she needs, it does not matter how many people know, or if she shouts it from the roof top, the only person that needs to know has known before I was conceived.  And that gave her heart a lot of peace and she has needed that for a while now!

Today I had my first time wearing clothes!  Miss Stephanie found me an outfit that was the smallest they had at that time.  Mamma laughed and laughed when she first saw me.  So Miss Sarah another great nurse found a smaller outfit that fit me better, and even better it said "daddy Loves me" and I know it is true :)!

Also today I was having a rough time with my Oxygen level in my blood.  Mommy sat and watched nervously as the numbers went up and down and the alarms kept sounding.  She cried alot, because she was very scared and stills feels guilty for not being able to help me.  They finally turned the level of force back up and I did a lot better.  I think I am not ready to do it on my own yet.  Do they forget I am just a little peanut? 

Our pretty peanut!

Januray 13, 2011 Day Eighteen

Today I was by myself alot.  Mommy and Daddy had things to do and did not get here until about 6:30.  Mr. and Mrs. Day (Julianna's Mommy and Daddy) kept a good eye on me and told mommy and daddy that I had been a good girl all day. 

Mommy and daddy visited me until shift change and then went to visit Miss Monica and Mr. Blake and the new baby.  I found out when they came back that my friend Bubba's new name is Aidyn.  I like it and am just glad that I know what to call him.

When mommy and daddy got back I was wide awake!  I love looking at them and i know that they love looking at me too!  Daddy looked funny because he had a mask on because he still has that cough  he has been fighting.  He has not been able to see me for two whole days, but now that he is on antibiotics he can come in but still had to wear that silly mask.  I missed him so much.  Seeing mommy is nice too but it is just different with daddy.  Mommy also thinks I am starting to look like my daddy, daddy joked that he would not have to worry about me dating if that is the case.. I think he is just going to have to come to terms that that will not be the case.  He better watch out!

January 12, 2011 Day Seventeen

Finally we have caught up, form this point on I will try to post every night so that you can keep up with what is happening with me.  Today I was having a very hard time breathing, They think that I am retaining water so it is making it harder on me.  They took a chest xray and  everything looked ok so they put me on Lasix which will make me pee and get the extra water off me.  This was the first day mama had a really hard time watching me.  I know she wishes that she could help but she has to be very trusting and patient that everyone will take good care of me.  Usually she is the one taking care of everything so this is a very good lesson for her. 

Here he is, my new best friend!

Also today is a great day.  Miss Monica and Mr. Blake mommies and daddies best friends has a baby!  He was 8 lbs 1 oz and 20 inches long!  He looks huge compared to me.  I cannot wait to get to meet him.  I am sure we will be great friends!  He does not have a name yet so I am going to call him Buba until he does.  He looks like a Buba to me. LOL I think my mommy and Miss Monica are going to have their hands full with us!

My feet and bubbas feet! LOL

January 9-11, 2011 Days Fourteen Through Sixteen

Again these days will be put together because not too much happened.  On the 9th I gained another ounce.  mama calls me her big girl but I know she is teasing me.  I am not very big at all in body but in spirit I am large and in charge! They also decided to start trying to feed me again.  I am on 2 ml just to see how I do.  On the 10th they moved up my feedings to 4 ml because I was doing so well.  They also decided to start weening me off my cannula so that I can breath on my own.  It is not as easy as it looks.  I am working very hard to keep up.  On the 11th they upped my feedings to 6 ml and that is all that changed.  I am growing and amazing people more and more everyday.  I promise all of you that I am going to make it out of here and be home sooner then you know!  I am so excited for that day!

This is how my mommy found me on the 11th... I am such a wiggle worm!

January 8, 2011 Day Thirteen

I had to go back on suction again!  That gross green stuff is still in my belly and they need to get it out.  To help me with my pooping issue they gave me two saline enemas and a suppository.  Boy did that make my  belly feel full.  I did not feel very comfortable but because of all their efforts I finally pooped.  The first time I pooped out the suppository so they put it back in and before they could close the diaper I pooped that one out and they put it back in and once again just for kicks I pooed it out again.  the nurse finally gave up and just put the diaper on with out the suppository.  Well I feel slightly better now and I know mamma and daddy and many other people are praying for me to keep it up.  I will do my best to make you all proud!

January 5-7 2011 Day Ten, Eleven and Twelve

So I am putting these days together because no much has happened.  I am going to have to start only writing when something  new happens because these days there are not a lot of changes and I sleep alot which is kind of boring to write about.

On the 5th there was not much change.  They are only going to do one x-ray a day on me now because things are not changing.  They also changed my suction tube because the smaller one kept getting clogged by all the green junk in my belly.

On the 6th they stopped the suction in my belly.  They were hoping the suction would help get the air out of my belly and it was sucking up this yucky green bile out of my belly that they were not sure why it was there.  That is the main reason they kept me on antibiotic so long.  Also I opened my eyes for a really long time this afternoon.  Mommy and daddy of course where right there talking to me.  Boy that daddy is goofy looking with that long beard! LOL  it was so nice to be able to see them after so long of hearing them!  It made mommies and daddies heart sing and I was glad to make them happy!

On the 7th I got to do my first Kangaroo care with mommy.  I LOVED it.  Actually my vital signs were the best they have been for the two hours mommy and I got to snuggle.  A 2 hour nap for mommy and totally blissfulness for me.  I hope we get to do this more often. Also my friend down the way who is five days older then me pooped!  What A show off.. now everyone is pushing me to do it.  Well i hate to tell them i will do it when i am good and ready!  Maybe if you didn't pressure me so much I could relax and do it, now you all have me so nervous that I can not concentrate!  So for now I am going to try and relax all the pressure away and just try to grow and stay healthy!  I am also getting VERY good at throwing fits.  Sometimes I go a little over board and end up is some pretty uncomfortable positions in my bed.  But at least they know that I am not happy!  Also nurse Stephanie made me a very cute name tag for my window!  I love it and my mommy is going to frame it for me when I get home and put it up in my room!

This is me after one of my fits!  Man how do I get out of this one?

January 4, 2011 Day Ten

To day is a big step... they took me off of the CPAK, which means that I will have to really step it up in my breathing.  I can do it I know I can!  Mama is nervouse but she trusts the nurses and doctors to do the right thing.

The doctors are still concerned about my belly.  The doctor with the funny accent told mama in no certain terms that if my intestines perforate (meaning break or open up) it would be very dangerous.  So please pray things work them self out so that we don't have to worry about that!

I hit a BIG goal today I am now 2 pounds exactly!  That is the weight mommy really wanted me to be at when I was born, so she is really excited!